I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
