she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
