This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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