i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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