Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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