Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
