Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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