You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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