Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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