Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
