I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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