ugly people sure do ruin things
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
