You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
