and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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