Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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