Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
