i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
