he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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