That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
