I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
