Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
