love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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