good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
