Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
