I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
this is an emotional support booty call
i think im in europe. pls send help
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
