I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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