I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
