what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
