Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize