Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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