Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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