i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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