Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am midnight drunk by noon
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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