the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
