i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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