adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Your penis caused this!
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