Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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