kristin has been a bad kristin
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
