i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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