We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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