if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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