I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How does one acquire holy water?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
