Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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