$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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