I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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