not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
