the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
