so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
