I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
