I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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