Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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