Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just had sex on a roof
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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