lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
