At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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