one two three fourrrrnication!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
