I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
ttyl tear gas
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize