Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
