That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
