one might say we're banned from that church
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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