Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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